Tag Archives: perception

Oct15
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When did you feel the most beautiful? Perhaps when you descended the stairs to meet your high school prom date. I bet you felt it walking down the aisle only minutes away from saying “I do” to your spouse. Maybe you thought you looked especially pretty just waking up and meeting a gaze of your adoring partner. Somehow our opinion always rests on a reflection in other people’s eyes to feel beautiful, we need  to rely on an outside approval and societal views on appearances to feel accepted, rarely our self-confidence comes from within. But it really should be the other way around. Your opinion is the only one that truly matters!

When I was undergoing surgeries and chemo treatments, it was far from any glamorous experience you can ever imagine. My body resembled a tic-tac-toe board with all the scars and black and blue marks, I was bold, not even eyelashes or eyebrows, pale and barely standing on my feet. Yet somehow, I still don’t know why, it was the only time in my life when I felt a complete self-acceptance and love, I felt absolutely beautiful and strangely whole. I can’t tell you why and how this happened, maybe it was some hallucinogenic state from all the chemo drugs I was on, or maybe my human spirit, crushed by the physical burden of treatment, gave way to the Eternal Inner Self, and true divine beauty was able to shine through. But as that period fade away and turned to recovery and then remission and now being cancer free, self-doubts and striving for unattainable perfection started to visit my thoughts yet again. As life took over, hair grew back, some color appeared on my cheeks, and scars became thin and barely visible so did the beauty. Isn’t it ironic and particularly sad that we get it wrong every single time?! We find beauty among complete distortion and delusion that has nothing to do with reality and seek answers where only nonsense exists.

We’ve perfected the story of Alice in Wonderland to the point that we don’t know how to get back Home. Yes, I’m guilty of it myself!

What’s Cooking This Week

When speaking of beauty in the kitchen, to me all foods are beautiful, especially the ones that are clean, unprocessed and full of nutrients. Pretty presentation is just that, icing on a cake, it makes the food more appealing but doesn’t change the essence if the dish is full of junk. This recipe is beautiful in its simplicity, and “icing on top” provides a perfect blend of being pretty and healthy.

Pink Series: Recipe # 5

Baked Salmon with Horse Radish Sauce

1.5 – 2 lbs of salmon

1 Tbspoon of lemon juice

1 tspoon any fish seasoning (I used Herbs de Provence)

8 Tbspoons of Horse Radish sauce (both liquid and pulp)

2 Tbspoons of mayo

1 tspoon of seasoning blend (I used Herbamare)

salt, pepper

Wash and pat dry the salmon. Place it in a foil or baking dish, drizzle with lemon juice and sprinkle fish seasoning, salt and pepper.

 Bake at 375 degrees until the fish is flaky but not overdone. In a mean while make the sauce. In a blender combine together horse radish sauce (I used the one with beets to add a splash of flavor and color dimension plus some extra nutrients, if you don’t like it, use the white one), mayo, seasonings and salt/pepper.

The dish is good served either warm or cold. Here we’re having it warm alongside sautéed spinach with sun-dried tomatoes and cauliflower mash.

Enjoy!

Jul13
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This is my new favorite t-shirt. Acquired during our Boston trip in May. Salem may be my new favorite town, it’s a place where witches and bitches run wild. I felt strangely at home there.

I’ve been called a bitch many times in my life, on most occasions by people who tried but didn’t ultimately succeed shoving me under their foot. I always agreed that I’m a total bitch. I even got a pin for that!

There is actually a ”bitchology” training program developed by a Russian psychologist Vladimir Rakovsky. This “school” is kind of like a cross between a new type of geisha training and a gold-digging philosophy where women are taught various seduction and manipulation techniques with the hopes of finding a rich husband.

According to the training description, “A bitch should be strong and self-confident but should also remember to use her feminine wiles, such as her attractiveness, and, whenever useful, she should come across as a helpless creature”.

Um, not really interested in subservient and manipulative parts but definitely agree with the strong and self-confident notion. I’ll be that kind of bitch on any given day!

So, which concept would be a complete opposite to the bitch theory? A princess of course! The one who is fair and maiden and sits in a tower waiting to be rescued by her prince. Do they still exist, ask you? Absolutely! I was that princess myself back in my young days. Do princes exist too? Possibly. Though I’ve never met one. This is how it mostly happens in a modern day fairy tale.

Somewhere down the road, on a long journey from the fairy tale land, a princess cut her goldilocks, lost her glass slippers and exchanged the pumpkin for a broom. A bitch was born!

Also known as…

Yep, I can definitely kick your butt. But in a nice, “princessy” way. My camouflage boots are adorned with pink sparkles, and my mace spray comes scented with lilies and roses. Yet do not be fooled, diamonds may still be my best friends, but I love a whip and a pistol too.

So next time when a would-be prince starts climbing up the ladder a la Richard Gere moves, think hard if being just a “Pretty Woman” will satisfy you for life.

Oh better yet, kick your glass slippers off and in your best Rhett Butler voice say “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a F***!”

 

What’s Cooking This Week

With a post like this, you surely need something feisty and spicy. To kick butt. Mainly yours :) I’m not a huge fan of spicy food, I actually have a very low tolerance for the heat factor. So by all means, feel free to adjust the recipe up to your desired “hot as hell” preferences. This is a basic recipe I thought should satisfy most.

Spicy Peanut Chicken

1 1/2 lbs chicken, cut into small pieces

1 red bell pepper, diced

1 inch ginger root, grated

4 garlic cloves, finely chopped

1/4 cup chunky peanut butter

1/4 cup Tamari soy sauce or reduced sodium soy sauce

1/2 cup chicken stock

1 Tbspoon chili paste

2 Tbspoon sesame oil

1/2 bunch of scallions, chopped

2 Tbspoons of toasted sesame seeds

salt, pepper to taste if needed

olive oil

Heat up some olive oil in a frying pan and stir fry chicken pieces for a few minutes, add bell pepper and stir fry for a couple more minutes.

Remove chicken and peppers from the pan and set them aside. Heat up more olive oil, add ginger, garlic and stir fry for 15-20 seconds, then add peanut butter, soy sauce, chicken stock, chili paste and sesame oil and stir to make the sauce.

Add chicken and peppers back to the pan and coat with sauce, add scallions and sesame seeds, toss everything for a minute to incorporate all the ingredients.

The dish is good served over rice or on its own.

If the heat is too much for you, you can always jump on a broom to fly around and cool off :)

Enjoy!

Jun25
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“Did you ever fly a kite in bed?

Did you ever walk with ten cats on your head?”

      Dr. Seuss, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

 

Do some things sound ridiculous no matter how you look at them and try to process on a logical level?! Unless, of course, they come straight from the children’s book.

And what if certain people get lost in Seussville and start claiming that what they see is in fact real and not just plausible but surely feasible and quite productive?!

Do you then call upon Dr. Seuss himself and ask to provide medical interventions as his loyal subjects definitely need some anti-pSeuss-cotics and a GPS to find way home?! Or do you yourself take the “high road” and leave them swimming with all the Red and Blue Fishes in a murky mud of their own delusional creation?! Otherwise, you’d be accused, like Horton the Elephant, of seeing and hearing things. And knowing well that most, if not all, of the Whos in Whoville will not have a voice loud enough to make themselves noticeable. Then poor Horton risks to spend a whole life being tortured by the Wickersham brothers.

 

And if in fact you learn to fly the kite in bed (aiming it straight at the Wickersham brothers). And if you manage, on certain occasions, to keep all ten cats on your head without them constantly running away. The task at hand then also becomes keeping your head high (no matter how many cats are sitting on it). And knowing that when Yertles the Turles try to reach over the moon standing on other little turtles, their construction, which is flimsy to begin with, will tumble down from one tiny burp. And while the little turtles will dust themself off and continue on their path, the Yertles will roll all the way down the hill and into the mud and will see their own dirty faces reflected in the water.

 

” So be sure when you step,

Step with care and great tact.

And remember that life’s Great Balancing Act.

And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!”

    Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

 

 What’s Cooking This Week

“Something fishy” does not necessarily mean bad things. Some white, red and blue little fishes are quite tasty and packed with healthy fats and nutrients. And when the days are hot, you look for no-cook protein options that are quick yet satisfying. I love all fishes, no matter what color, but once in a while I like to substitute a traditional white fish (aka tuna) for some color and a bit of healthy fat and use red or pink salmon in a salad.

Sesame Salmon Salad

15 oz or 2 cans of pink/red salmon (bones removed)

1/2 of large Granny Smith apple

2-3 Tbspoons of chopped fresh chives

2 tspoons of sesame seeds

1/2 tspoon of dried celery seeds

1 Tbspoon of fresh lemon juice

2 Tbspoon of sesame oil

salt, pepper to taste

Empty the salmon cans into a bowl, break the fish with a fork removing big bones if you see any.

Peel and core the apple, rub the half you’ll be using with fresh lemon or sprinkle with lemon juice (to prevent it from turning brown). Grate it with a large grater.

Combine salmon, apple, chopped chives and celery seeds, add lemon juice and season with salt and pepper.

Add sesame seeds and sesame oil, mix it all well. Chill before serving.

It makes a great snack or a healthy lunch alongside some salad.

Enjoy!

One Fish, Two Fish…

Jun15
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Remember the “Kodak moment” commercials? The ones where they show you some pricy items, like jewelry or cars, you can buy for the loved ones and then create a lasting memory of their gratitude with a Kodak camera? Despite the claims, the moment is not exactly “priceless”, you actually have to face a hefty price tag to satisfy your loved one to the point that is Kodak-worthy.

So how much are you willing to pay for the “priceless” moment?

And is there a price for perfection?!

It all depends what is perfect to you, and how much you actually want it.

I’ve been on a search for a “perfect” gluten free waffle and pancake mix and a gluten free flour mix in general. If you ever tried gluten free baked products, you may notice that some of them leave this tiny (or not) aftertaste of the flours used in the mix, and not all of them look and taste the best, even for a gluten free product.

Many come pretty close to the regular wheat versions though. Udi’s bread and baked goods are the best I’ve encountered that are also soy and dairy free. I absolutely love The Cravings Place waffle and pancake mix, that is a complete mix and nothing except water or milk needs to be added and still have fluffy pancakes, unsweetened (but with a hint of vanilla) too, I use it as my “Bisquick” for all quick recipes.

But still, nothing came to the absolute perfection until this “beauty” arrived at my doorstep.

 

I heard about the amazing Cup4Cup gluten free flour developed by Chef Thomas Keller exclusively for Williams-Sonoma, http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/cup4cup-gluten-free-flour/?pkey=cbaking-mixes but up until now was a bit sceptical to pay a “nice” price of  $19.95 for a 3-lbs bag of mix. Plus the flour is not dairy free, there is milk powder in it, but maybe this is the “make-it-or-break-it” ingredient for a great mix. So my quest for a perfectly plump and gloriously soft waffle still brought me to the reviews of their Ad Hoc Gluten Free Pancake & Waffle Mix that is based on Cup4Cup flour http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/ad-hoc-gluten-free-pancake-waffle-mix/?pkey=cbaking-mixes. I figured, if it’s good, I can have it as an occasional weekend splurge to minimize the effects of dairy in the mix. And you shouldn’t be eating waffles every day to begin with, right?!

OK, I was sold, for $18.95 to be exact :)

 

What’s Cooking This Week

It arrived, as pictured, in a pretty box that contained 2 sealed pouches with the mix, each of them claiming to be enough for 4  7-inch round waffles or 8 Belgian waffles. That makes it about $2.37 per waffle, if you’re counting. OK, I can deal with it, as long as they are really good.

Ad Hoc Gluten Free Waffles

1 pouch of mix

1 cup of milk (I used coconut milk)

1 egg, beaten

5 Tbspoons of unsalted butter (I used Earth Balance coconut oil spread), melted

Follow the directions on the box mixing all ingredients and then letting the batter rest for about 5 minutes.

It kind of plumped-up and looked very thick.

Heat up the waffle maker and spoon some batter to coat it evenly, cook according to the waffle maker instructions.

I did not get 4 waffles, as described, I only got 3, maybe next time I’ll add just a tiny bit more milk to see if that will make a difference.

But, OMG, OMG!!!

They tasted exactly how I remember the good wheat waffles should taste, soft yet plump, buttery and absolutely no aftertaste. I’m sure if somebody else tried them, they would not even know they are gluten free.

Here I’m enjoying them with syrup, toasted almonds and fruit.

It was a glorious Saturday morning, full of leisurely breakfast chat and buttery smells. And I was guarding my waffle plate as a hawk, the kid usually shares whatever I make, gluten free or not, he did not get a morsel this time :)

And, by-the-way, I bought the Cup4Cup flour mix too, I’m pretty sure anything I make with it will turn out exactly like the wheat version, but stay tuned, it will probably be another wonderful review, minus the price tag.

Enjoy!

Jun8
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   Apparently Boston is an unofficial gluten free “capital”.

  It may not seem so to other people, but I’d definitely  nominate it, if such category ever existed.

Last week the kid and I traveled to Boston for 5 days. I came prepared, as the usual case when traveling, with a bag full of gluten free breads and other goodies, but I was also pleasantly surprised that so many restaurants (or at least the ones I encountered) cater to the gluten free community. Kudos to them!

Following are my notes on the gluten free choices along with the actual restaurant reviews. The grades are for the overall experience: gluten free offerings, food and service.

When booking a hotel, the first thing I always look at are the restaurant choices, both on-site and nearby (maybe self-indulgent but surely necessary). We stood at the new hotel in South Boston, right by the Seaport, Renaissance Boston Waterfront Hotel by Marriott. http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/boswf-renaissance-boston-waterfront-hotel/

The hotel is new, only about 4 year old, build in a sleek modern architecture overlooking Boston’s Seaport, it’s clean, comfortable and accommodating, everything you’d want in a hotel. The area itself though is kind of under-developed, like may spots in South Boston, so there’s not much to do in the evening except dining and a stroll along the bay. It’s just two blocks from Boston’s Silver Line subway station.

Oh, let me digress here for a minute about this Silver Line. I had so much fun with it :) So, apparently Boston’s Silver Line is not really “subway” even though it’s part of the system. It’s actually a bus that partially runs underground and connects you with the other, “real” subway lines. So this is the “subway train” that’s near the hotel, and it takes you to the real trains. Every time I got on it, I just couldn’t stop smiling as I was thinking of the Choo-Choo Train from “The Little Engine That Could”. “I think I can, I think I can” – said The Little Engine… You sure can, baby! :)   However, as a mental health professional, I have to warn you all, this bus appears to be suffering from Identity Confusion Disorder, part of Dissociative Disorders. And, as with all Personality Disorders spectrum, you can try mitigating some symptoms with antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, but there’s no cure. So, board at your own risk! :)

OK, back to the actual reviews. The hotel had two restaurants, besides the usual room service, 606 Congress is a formal sit-down place where you can get full breakfast, lunch and dinner. Capiz Bar is a lounge where drinks and lighter fare, such as salads and sandwiches are available. Both Capiz Bar and 606 Congress were accommodating to my needs. The hotel has a print-out from their regular menus indicating the items that are either naturally gluten free or can be made without gluten. I had a great green salad with grilled chicken and creamy balsamic dressing as well as fries at the Bar. They also have this amazing onion dip with homemade potato chips that is only $0.99! You can’t beat that as an appetizer. Unfortunately, the kid and I inhaled both the dip and the salad with fries before I could take any pictures. :) But trust me, it was delicious looking!

I had two meals at 606 Congress, breakfast and dinner. During breakfast time, once I let the waiter know that I’m gluten intolerant, the chef came out to personally greet and assure me that my meal will be safe from gluten and cross-contamination. He told me that his own daughter has Celiac, and he’d make sure that the area where my dish will be made is “cleaned-up”, and clean pots and utensils are used. I definitely felt that I was safe with a chef who has a personal experience cooking gluten free. Now, meeting the chef wasn’t unusual, most of the hotels I’ve been to in the past few years (though all higher-end) catered to my needs, some, like Ritz Carlton, even have a personal dietary navigator.  So, I got a great breakfast dish of home fried potatoes and chicken-apple sausage at 606 Congress. It was just what I needed, a nice warm breakfast that tasted exactly like you’d make it at home.

Dinner at 606 Congress was a more formal affair, we both had Angus grass fed sirloin with carrots and turnips in bordelaise syrup. The steak was very good, tender and cooked to my specifications, the veggies were a nice addition too.

 My only complain was that for the price ($32), I’d want to get a slightly bigger steak that would also include at least one side, otherwise add another $8 for each side, but that’s what you usually get at this type of restaurants, they were not very busy each night, so I guess they need to get their money somehow. We ordered two sides, mashed potatoes, that were absolutely divine, full of butter and cream (therefore, I only had a couple spoonfuls as I don’t eat dairy on a regular basis), and sautéed spinach that was good but not excellent as it was covered in tiny pieces of cooked, and not really sautéed, garlic. I have a thing about garlic, it has to be perfect, otherwise, it just ruins everything. I prefer garlic either pressed and “cooked-in” into whatever sauce you’re making or thinly sliced and sautéed till golden brown so you get the garlic taste but also have a possibility remove the actual garlic pieces from the food and not eat them. When the dish is literally covered in tiny garlic pieces that taste like they were boiled rather than sautéed, I think it ruins the whole experience.

So, my grade for hotel’s food, both Capiz and 606 Congress, is A – , the food was good (minus the garlic), service was attentive (plus for the chef ‘s personal appearance), and it was surely helpful to have a gluten free menu print-out.

The next day we had dinner at Salvatore’s, which is the Italian place nearby the hotel (they also have other locations in Boston). http://salvatoresrestaurants.com/ Upon examining the restaurant’s website, which is what I usually do before going out, I discovered that they offer gluten free pasta. Yay, said the excited Peddler! Well, not so fast, as it turned out. We were greeted by sleepy looking and kind of grumpy waiter (and it was way before the usual dinner time rush, so they weren’t busy at all, but maybe that was the reason, we disturbed his rest). I asked about gluten free menu, and, again, less then enthusiastically, he offered some information about the pasta dishes (some of which I asked him to double-check that absolutely killed his mood as it required extra energy expenditure on his part).

After some discussions with the grumpy waiter which foods they can actually prepare gluten free, the kid and I shared these pan seared scallops in a creamy limoncello sauce, they were good, but really nothing outstanding.

Then the main course came, and I ordered sweet sausage with olives and artichokes in a garlic wine sauce over their gluten free pasta. Sounds simple yet quite delicious, something that I’d enjoy making at home. Well, remember my previous rant about garlic? Yep, I got it yet again, maybe that’s what they do in Boston. Pasta was not just covered in tiny, cooked, not sautéed, garlic and was swimming in a pool of white sauce, it looked more like pasta soup than pasta with sauce. The sausage also tasted kind of boiled (I guess because of all the liquid it cooked in) rather than sautéed, which is what I prefer in my pasta. The only good thing about this dish was that pasta was cooked to a perfect al dente (and it was gluten free), but I kept thinking I’d make it so much better at home.

 The kid had lobster ravioli in some creamy sauce and said it tasted pretty good. But what kind of a food critic a hungry 15 year old can really be?! Plus if the place can’t make a simple pasta dish taste at least passable, what are we even talking about?!

So, my grade for Salvatore’s is big C – (I threw a little extra because scallops were good). Maybe their other locations are much better, but at least you have some gluten free options.

We spent the next day in Salem, and, surprisingly, even there I was able to eat gluten free. Right by the trolley depot, there is a place called Rockarfellas, http://www.rockafellasofsalem.com/ , a casual place of all-American staples. Their menu indicated which items can be made gluten free. OK, I was impressed! If some place in Salem can have that available, why can’t ALL restaurants in NYC at least do the same, simply indicate which items are safe from gluten?! Maybe because some NY’s “finest establishments” are too damn self-absorbed and “sophisticated” to make any kind of substitutions or accommodations. Though I do have to admit it that most of the time I am actually accommodated, but it’s just nice to see it “on paper” so to say that gluten sensitivity is acknowledged. Saves time and aggravation too if you ask me.

I wasn’t in a mood for any of their gluten free options that Rockafellas offered and asked if a pulled pork sandwich could be made on my own roll and is generally safe, which it was. Here I’m enjoying my pulled pork on Ener-G’s English muffin (that I often use as a roll) with a nice side salad. That was a great lunch, and the food was pretty good too.

So my grade for Rockafellas is a solid B (the service was very slow even though it was passed the usual lunch time rush).

That very same day we had a late dinner at Rosa Mexicano www.rosamexicano.com that was right on the Seaport strip. I’ve been to two out of three Rosa’s in NYC and one in D.C., they are all consistently great, if you like spicy food, and to me even some mild heat is spicy. Next to it was also Morton’s Steakhouse www.mortons.com , and I was really tempted. I had some awesome steaks at their D.C. and West Palm Beach locations, but I figured it’s probably best to visit such place in adult company where a great meal could be shared over a few (or many :) ) drinks and a leisurely conversation. So the kid and I had our dinner at Rosa Mexicano, as planned.

As always, I checked the website to yet again find out that they offer gluten free choices. Yay said excited Peddler! Let’s have some Mexican! We were greeted by an overly enthusiastic waiter with “baby cheeks”, and while we browsed the menu, I asked for one of these.

And was promptly ”carded”! I do not remember how long ago that happened last time, and considering that when I came to the US, I was already of legal age, not very many times. Babycheeks, I’m flattered, but I don’t have a tip as big as your compliment! And, seriously, I was there with my 15 year old, did you think I was his girlfriend?!

When in Rosa Mexicano, you just HAVE to try their guacamole, done right in front of you, with your choice of heat “levels” and a side of homemade corn chips, you think you’re in heaven (OK one of those pictured just above helped to feel at ease also :) )

I had one of their specials, fish of the day, which was black sea bass that evening, with a warm potato-chorizo salad, beet chimichurri and pumpkin seed pipian. The dish was great, just on a verge of what I’d consider too spicy for my liking, but I managed. My only complain was that the fish itself was a bit limp and needed just a tad more sear in a pan, otherwise, the meal was very delicious.

My grade for Rosa Mexicano in Boston is A – (for the fish, but with extra hand clapping for the “carded” drink). Oh, and the waiter did get a nice tip, not as big as he’d probably hoped for, but he got his 20%.

The last day was spent roaming around Boston when we stumbled upon Pizzeria Uno http://www.unos.com/indexi.php . Famous for their deep dish pizza, they are also one of the first chain restaurants  that started offering gluten free pizza crusts. But since I don’t eat dairy, that wasn’t an option. I’m a bit puzzled though why they can offer gluten free crust but not other breads. Bad marketing people! You throw together the same ingredients as for the crust and make some wonderful focaccia bread, great for sandwiches or even burgers.

And, of course I didn’t want to eat their burger plain, as indicated on the menu, here it is on a burger roll by Canyon Bakehouse that I was so clever to bring along (as always :) ) with a side of roasted vegetables that were actually surprisingly great and tasted like homemade.

My grade for Pizzeria Uno is a nice B (points taken off for bad marketing strategy of having gluten free pizza but not bread for sandwiches).

And now we came to the last, and the best, meal in Boston, and that could only be described as a complete and utter perfection! Right on the corner of the hotel’s block was a restaurant called The Legal Test Kitchen http://www.ltkbarandkitchen.com/site/ . They were busy, despite it being a Tuesday night, which was a good sign. As soon as I was seated and announced my gluten intolerance to the waiter, I was greeted with these “heavenly creatures” – homemade gluten free dinner rolls. Oh my, I was definitely in heaven, they were awesome! And how great it was to know that the chef took his time to make them so their gluten free customers could feel welcomed too!

My dinner was great too, a tasty dish of pan seared lemon chicken with toasted almonds and zucchini-tomato salad served in a creamy lemon sauce with carmalized lemon peel. I so want to re-create it at home!

My overall grade is A with a great +. Loved an extra touch of attention in a way of dinner rolls, and the food was very good, gluten free or not. Oh, and I got an extra portion of those rolls for my next day breakfast :)

Thus concludes my review of the gluten free options I encountered in Boston. Whether the Universe conspired in a very special way, or I was just very lucky, but every dining establishment I visited had some gluten free choices available, making the trip so much more enjoyable.

Go Boston!!!

May31
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  Do you ever feel some places look strangely familiar even though you’ve never been there before?

   If you’ve experienced a “de ja vous” in your life, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

   Sometimes you can get off a train and still feel like you’re home.

The kid and I just returned from a 5-day trip to Boston.  The trip was 80% for leisure and 20% for “business”. First, I thought that it’d be awesome to visit some historical sites on Memorial Day, and we did just that. And, second, even though the kid is only finishing his freshman year in high school, it’s never too early to start thinking about colleges. Usually, any incoming college student has their “dream” schools, “probable” schools and also “fall-back” choices. For now, all schools are in a “dream” category as we’re doing just that, dreaming, thinking, exploring, gathering information. But one choice is still a “dream”, no matter how you look at it, and for this kid, it’d be MIT.

Sure, that’d be a wish for anybody, but the kid is actually very good with technology, computers and electronics, he’d make a fine engineer. He took it after his father, because I’m definitely a humanitarian not a techie or even a scientist. Granted, I have a graduate degree and had to go through a number of math and science classes, and I did well, but I still need a calculator to do any kind of manipulations beyond 2+2, and as far as any electronics are concerned, I now mostly rely on the kid to produce whatever result I desire :)

So, MIT would be right up his alley, but how feasible it could be, the time will tell, there are still many “make it or break it points” , even for a kid who does well in school, like SATs and an inevitable pull of teen social life or just laziness over the many hours of studying “labor” you need to put in to actually get that coveted letter from MIT admissions. So, for now, we saw the place, got the basic info, and we’ll return in 2 years when he is a junior to have a more “hands-on” experience.

And back to the actual city of Boston. I absolutely love New England, their Colonial architecture, the waterfronts, oh and food of course! There is so much history behind the “cool” looking facade and a somewhat “snobbish” attitude (but I can definitely deal with that, hey, I live in NYC, we have a whole spectrum of “snobbish” to “artsy laid-back” here). The second I step foot on New England soil, I feel like I’ve “arrived”, my soul jumps from joy in recognition of “the time passed”, and I know I’m home no matter how far from it I may actually be. One might say it is because New England resembles Europe so much, and I feel homesick. First, I’ve spent my whole adult life in the US, so there is zero to none homesickness in regard to anything else but New York, and, second, it’s hard to miss the country that literary displaced and made us refugees, therefore, no physical or emotional attachment exists, it ended when we had to turn in our Soviet Passports, jobs and a place to live for a chance to leave the country that didn’t want us to begin with. And second, New England architecture looks nothing like anything in Eastern Europe, the closest you may get, style-wise, is the Baltic region, so, no, it is “homesickness” of a different kind.

My faith is metaphysical in nature, I believe in karma, reincarnation, past lives and cell memory (more on this on my Soul Food page). Take it or leave it, but my beliefs are substantiated by years of readings, research and personal experiences. We usually “remember” the past lives that are somehow significant to the lessons we’re learning in the current one or because that life held some significance to the whole soul’s growth process or as a turning point, or maybe simply because we liked that particular lifestyle or felt at ease in that life, but it’s a gift (though up for grabs by everybody) to decipher the cues that a certain “de ja vous” may not be from this lifetime at all. Through the years, I’ve learned to recognize when certain people, places or situations are a “bridge from way before”, and even though some people may be very tangential or fleeting in my current life (like my previous supervisor at work), there is still joy and a sense of “belonging” you feel when meeting such a person, just like a feeling you have bumping into a familiar face in a middle of traveling abroad, it’s like a small seed of “home” that you always carry inside. This is what I feel in New England, anywhere from Maine to Cambridge to even Georgetown in D.C. It must be all the previous lives on a British soil that make my heart melt and my soul jump from a tiny resemblance :)   Oh, and the older I get, the more “particular” I become about my tea, you have to see all the tea sets I own (and eyeing for future purposes), blame it on cell memory! :)

In a mean while, as I gather my thoughts, pictures and information about all the gluten free choices I encountered in Boston restaurants, please enjoy a gallery of images from Boston, Cambridge and Salem.

Apr27
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The Double Rainbow

Once I saw a rainbow

Over the ocean blue

Encompassed by a shadow

Of every color and hue.

It was a double rainbow

Most beautiful to see

 And underneath the rainbow

Were two sails upon the sea.

 I think it was God’s message

 Quite old, and get still new

 It takes both rain and sunshine

 To make the lovely view.

As we go along life’s highway

 A lot of rain must fall.

 But we can find the rainbow

When the sun shines over all.

 So, if you feel discouraged

And don’t know what to do

Just trust for God’s own sunshine

To bring a rainbow over you.

Virginia M. King

Life is just like that, full of stripes. You get the bold ones, the pastel ones, the ones you like, and the ones that make your head spin. Yet they all fit perfectly together, and the rainbow would not be complete without any of them. Each stripe brings its tone, taste and the skills necessary to get through to the next one, it’s all a matter of adaptability, resiliency and faith that it will all work out at the end.

And it will. Maybe not in a way that we’ve imagined it or wished for, but where human perception is fickle and fallible, the Universal order is always precise. We receive the exact things to propel us forward on our unique path and just enough lemons for our own cup of lemonade. But it’s up to us to come up with the sugar amount.

I always said “I’m glad I had cancer” no matter how bizarre it sounds to other people. Yes, of course, I’d  rather go without the gruelling physical ordeal of the treatment and some lingering side effects that are still there 5 years later. But how else would I know how strong I can be, and that beauty is just the light that comes from within you and not the length of your hair, the color of your cheeks and a perfect body untouched by a scalpel that make you look in a mirror and truly love yourself?! How else would I know that you’re still a child to your mother no matter how old you are, and that you can feel little again and be sustained by a bond that is as old as life itself and just know that it will always be there within your reach even after you’re back into your “adult” life?! How else would I know how to love, comfort and care for another cancer survivor and when they say “the cure has been worse than the disease itself” you’ll understand what they mean?! How else would I know what life really is and what must be done to stay “alive”, both in your body and soul?!

How else would I know who I really am if I haven’t seen both sides of me, the rain and the sunshine?! Now it’s up to me to keep the rainbow up in the sky :)

 What kind of stripes have you seen?

What’s Cooking This Week

A rainbow of vegetables, of course. The sweet ones, the tart ones, some spices and juices and then some “binding” to hold it all together. It’s good for the soul. And your body will most definitely thank you too. :)

Low Carbs Stuffed Peppers

4 large peppers, tops cut off and insides cleaned          

1 lb mixed ground chicken and turkey

1/4 cup instant oatmeal

1 small yellow squash (or zucchini), grated

2 medium tomatoes, diced

1/4 cup ketchup 

1/4 cup tomato sauce

1 tspoon garlic powder

1 tspoon Italian herbs blend

salt, pepper

fresh herbs, chopped

Combine all the ingredients and stuff into peppers. Bake at 375 for about an hour or until peppers are cooked through. Pour some tomato sauce over peppers and garnish with fresh herbs. Enjoy!

Apr25

You Say “Tomato”, I say “Tomatoe”

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This week I’ve been pondering the subjective nature of feelings yet again. What we believe usually dictates how we feel. Our attitudes about people and events will generate our emotional responses to them. Our attitudes and beliefs are always right, as they are subjective matters and are not governed by facts or logic, they are just that, feelings, beliefs, emotions. Since we’ve practiced our beliefs over a lifetime, we are very loyal to them, otherwise, we’d believe something else.

Any argument always has two sides, but as we get stuck on our rightness, we lose sight of our real human objective, which is to be happy. Many people believe that being right IS being happy. Most of us eventually learn that our rightness may be limiting or restricting our happiness. Our rightness about effective recovery from a significant emotional loss often limits our ability to complete relationships that have ended or changed, therefore a closure may never come. Many of the beliefs that we hold about dealing with losses are incorrect and unhelpful, but since this is how we were taught to respond, we continue practicing them for a lifetime.

For example, we were taught that “time heals everything”, but in fact, it doesn’t. Time does not complete anything in itself. If we believe, with all the mighty force of rightness, that time is going to heal our emotional wounds, we’re destined to wait forever. Time does not heal or complete, time just goes by. It is the actions that we take within that timeframe that could help us grieve, complete and ultimately recover.

Another example of unhelpful belief is a practice of “keeping busy”. As a response to the conflicting and often painful feelings left by a loss, keeping busy can be a quite unproductive short-term distraction. At the end of a busy day, your heart is still broken. Keeping busy does not complete relationships, taking time to work on your feelings and address the wounds within yourself usually do.

Therefore, Right is not necessarily good, it’s only Right.  We tend to develop a ferocious loyalty to our rightness even though it often leads to horrible squabbles in a relationship. If we think about most of the fights we had, we realize that both sides clung fiercely to the rightness of their position. Even in the aftermath, either party may have stayed on a position of rightness and refused to apologize, and thereby extended the argument.

It may be time for us to examine some of our beliefs and attitudes and how we process the conflicting feelings caused by a loss or changed relationship. We must ensure we have effective beliefs that can lead us towards happiness, rather than being stuck in rightness. Using correct information and actions can help us capture the happiness everybody most definitely deserves.

The truth is, most people want to be both, happy and right, but in reality, you most often have to choose. So, what’s your side, happy or right???

 

What’s Cooking This Week

Speaking of tomato (or tomatoe :) ), spring is in full blooms, and so are tomatoes and other vegetables. With a longer daylight and more energy, our bodies crave nutritious sustenance to help us endure all the work hours and exciting spring events we strive to cram in just one day. A dish full of antioxidants and energy-boosting nutrients is just what we need to optimize our daily schedules.

Veggie Florentine Soup

32 oz veggie (or chicken) stock

2 medium potatoes, cubed

1 medium eggplant, cubed

1 small yellow squash (or zucchini), cubed

3 medium carrots, sliced

1 small onion, chopped

1 medium bell pepper, chopped

15 oz can of diced tomatoes

1/2 lb frozen or fresh peas

2 garlic cloves, sliced or pressed

salt, pepper, spices

fresh herbs, chopped

olive oil

optional: 1 tspoon of granulated sugar

Pour veggie/chicken stock in a large soup pan, add water to make up to 2/3 of a pan and  bring to a boil covered on a low flame. While it’s boiling, in a deep frying pan, heat up a few spoons of olive oil and saute garlic and onions until lightly golden, add squash, eggplant, carrots and peppers, season it all with desired spices (I used lemon-pepper blend) and saute until almost done, add diced tomatoes and cook for another 1-2 minutes, then set aside.

When the stock and water are boiled, add salt and pepper and cubed potatoes, cook for a couple of minutes and add peas. Then add the veggie saute to the soup pan, mix well and bring it all to a boil, add some sugar if desired (I like my tomatoes a bit sweet) and chopped fresh herbs. Enjoy!

Apr13

There Is No Cure Like Home Food

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After several days spent in a hospital, I’m finally home and ready to re-integrate life again, but slowly :)

And nothing feels more like home than your favorite home cooked food. Especially after several unsuccessful “face-offs” with some hospital choices. It’s a common knowledge that hospital and airplane food are pretty much equally awful, but this time around, I think hospital food is a definite contender for the most inedible offering.

I did have some entertainment though, three times a day I got to play “name that food” game, and I was only right on fruit and beverages (that’s all I could possibly have there anyway).

Granted, feeding me is trickier than feeding a picky toddler, with all the gluten/dairy/eggs/soy restrictions, but deep inside me I was still hoping for some spark of common knowledge and nutrition-specific education among the dietetic department staff. I was wrong. Each and every meal came with some kind of food item that contained either of the four groups I can’t eat, it’s like there are no other foods on the planet that don’t come either breaded, smothered in cheese, butter or gravy, and there are no protein choices other than milk and eggs.  So, I guess whoever was assembling my meals, was really having fun with it. As if the orders say “no gluten (wheat/barley)”, I could get a rye toast (but it didn’t say rye!!!). Or for no dairy order, I was consistently given Lactaid milk (people, no lactose does not automatically mean no dairy!). On a third day, I finally stopped getting any bread, but all those unrecognizable meat choices were drowned in some kind of gravy (like that would make the meal more appetizing!). I was pissed and also purely entertained by the total ignorance and apparent lack of common professional knowledge (and a total indifference I’d also add) of people who are supposedly in a “diet and nutrition” field.

But of course, I didn’t starve, my mom was diligently supplying me with allergen free and most definitely edible food choices :)

What’s Cooking This Week

The first thing when you get home after a hospital stay is to have some nice homemade meal, but nothing too time consuming or complicated as you still feel kind of “off” and need to spend a bit more time resting. Yet you don’t have to compromise on a taste and the “hominess” of the food. Zucchini pancakes could be a perfect combination of all factors. I make them pretty often as they are quick and versatile, could be a nice breakfast or lunch food or even an appropriate side dish. Of course, I make them gluten/dairy free but you can substitute GF Bisquick for a regular one and use milk instead of water and sour cream instead of mayo (though I love mayo because it gives an extra zing to it). I don’t eat eggs in their pure form, but I can tolerate them in mayo or when they are “baked-in”. Also, I often buy European mayo as only egg yolks are added (as it’s supposed to be), which I could tolerate much better than egg whites. If not, I like Hain Foods Safflower Mayo, it’s all natural and doesn’t contain soy oil. I also tried this Magic Seasoning Salt and thought it was pretty good :)

Zucchini Pancakes

1 large zucchini, grated

3/4 to 1 cup GF (or regular) Bisquick (depending how thick you want the batter)

1 tbspoon of mayo (or sour cream)

1/2 cup water (or milk)

1 egg

seasoning to taste

Combine grated zucchini, water(milk) and mayo (sour cream), season as desired and taste if you want to add more seasoning. Once satisfied, add a beaten egg and Bisquck, I suggest adding it in small portions to see how thick the batter gets. Mix everything well, heat up a frying pan with a few spoons of oil and drop a spoonful of batter to form each pancake, you may flatten them a little once they are in a pan. Fry on each side until golden brown, serve immediately. Makes about 12-16 small pancakes. Use whatever toppings or sauces you like, I prefer them with scallions and honey-mustard sauce. Enjoy!