Tag Archives: melancholy

Silence

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When you are thrown into silence, you have no choice but to dive in also …

What’s Cooking This Week

Not all things in life could be fixed, especially the ones you have no control over. You can always mediate your reaction to them though, chocolate, and desserts in general, found to be a good mediator, for just about anything.

Chocolate-Almond Loaf with Maple Glaze

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Makes 2 loaves:

1 stick of butter, melted

1/2 cup of olive oil

5 eggs, room temperature

1 cup of flour (I used Authentic Foods gluten free multi-blend)

1 cup of almond flour

1/2 cup of cacao powder

3/4 cup of raw sugar

1/4 cup of maple syrup

2 tspoons of baking powder

In a bowl, beat together eggs and sugar, then add maple syrup and beat again. Whisk together melted butter and oil and set aside. In another bowl, combine all the dry ingredients.

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Gradually combine the dry ingredients and the egg/sugar mix, then whisk in butter/oil into the dough. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Grease two loaf pans and pour the batter in. Bake for about 40-50 minutes. Cool completely before removing from the pans and icing.

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Maple glaze:

1 Tbspoon of butter

1/4 cup of maple syrup

1 cup of powdered sugar

In a small pan melt the butter and then add maple sugar boiling the mix for 1 minute on a low flame, gradually whisk in powdered sugar until all is incorporated. Glaze the loaves right away before butter starts to harden again.

The not too sweet loaf with a hint of almond is perfectly mediated by sweet maple glaze, and in that moment, life is perfect again…

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Enjoy!

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Sometimes you get people in your life with whom you have more “goodbyes” than “hellos”. And sometimes those “goodbyes” are more important than the whole relationship because letting go is an act of love in itself and a word of care in action. I had two people like that in my life, I hope you had at least one as I think if you haven’t experienced loss, you won’t have anything to compare how great the love was.

The Prince of Tides is one of my favorite movies, and the book is even more amazing than what you see on a screen. Through love, they find their healing and getting whole again, through love, they lose each other but carry the spark with them throughout the rest of their lives. The separation scene is poignant and emotionally charged at the same time, you feel the loss and the new beginning all entwined in one, you damn the necessity of letting go and you applaud the beautiful closure.

Unfortunately, in life, you don’t always get the farewell you’d imagine to be the best, even if you really wanted it, or felt that you truly deserved it. Sometimes you get “whatever was available” depending on life circumstances and how the other person viewed not just the ending but the whole relationship. And you can cry your eyes out how it happened, or you can complain that it’s not fair, it won’t change the fact that there were two “dealers” in this ” game of broken hearts”, yours just did not win this time, or that time either.

And it’s probably best to leave the winners in their new round of the Russian Love Roulette as they are obviously more successful in it, or at least to wish them that their winning streak would continue.  So long my Prince of Tides, I had more ebb than flow with you, but such was the cycle of that relationship! And the White Horseman, he is long gone on a road of his own, where it leads him, I do not know, but he is happy just to take the journey.

So goodbye my loves! If the farewell was a bit bitter for you, I’m sure you can sweeten it with your new winning card. Till I see you both again, in heaven, in due time for each of us!

What’s Cooking This Week

I think during times like that, you’re allowed to medicate yourself a little, just to take the edge off and get adjusted to the new situation. Whatever your medicine is, the actual pill, some sweets or alcohol, immerse yourself into the experience, cry, if you have to, buy some cheap plates to break a few (learned the hard way), or just quietly curl on a couch sipping your drink and walking down the memory lane.

“Anarchy in the Peddler-Land” Iced Tea

2 oz of vodka (I used Liv potato vodka to make it gluten free)

4 oz of strong black tea, brewed and cooled off

1-2 lemon slices

1 sugar cube

Dissolve a sugar cube in tea, squeeze lemon juice from 1 slice and place it on a bottom of a cocktail glass. Add tea with sugar and then vodka, mix it well, then garnish with more lemon if desired. Skip the ice to make it stronger.

If you still feel sad, have another, or try it with some chocolate.

Enjoy!

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Are you sometimes plagued by sour notes?

I think we all are at some point or another.

And I’m not talking about something major, like when your best friend betrays you, or you were a #1 candidate for that dream job only to find out it went to your less experienced (but much prettier) colleague.

No I’m talking about some seemingly petty things. Like when you see that despite eating healthy and working out, you will never look like a Victoria’s Secret model (even if you wear their lingerie). Or when you have a short chat with your ex-boyfriend only to realize that he got over you and moved on eons ago while you’re only half-way there. Or when you stop for a minute and think that there are a million other food blogs much more successful than yours (even though you have a pool of dedicated readers and still enjoy writing every single entry :) ). Yes, I’m talking “lemony” notes like that.

It’s hard to deal with disappointment, no matter big or small. Our perceptions are often build on expectations, whether real or imagined, thus the whole picture could be skewed depending what exactly you’re waiting to happen.

And when it doesn’t, it seems like your whole world is tumbling down (even though it is not) because the “pictures in your head” were so much better and as elaborate as a 6-hour documentary. So, when you get an equivalent of a 10-minute “pilot preview”, which has very little potential to be developed into any kind of show, you feel lost and disappointed wishing for more than a fleeting moment.

Or maybe you’re just a drama queen!

What’s Cooking This Week

Summer is in a full swing, bursting with colors and an aroma of fresh produce. Veggies are ripe, fruits are juicy, all the reasons to make more nutritious meals. Even if you feel kind of sour. Add some brown sugar then. Food cures anything. Or at least it should. :)

Russian Sweet And Sour Cabbage Soup

1/2 small green cabbage

2 medium white potatoes

1 large carrot

1 medium red bell pepper

2 medium tomatoes

2-3 fresh garlic cloves

5 Tbspoons tomato paste

1/2 lbs bacon (skip for a vegan version)

2 Tbspoon brown or raw sugar

1 Tbspoon lemon-pepper seasoning

1 tspoon each dried basil and oregano

lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste

fresh herbs for garnish

Put a large soup pot with 3/4 full of water to boil. While the water is boiling, cut bacon into smaller pieces and cook until almost done.

Also shred the cabbage, slice garlic into tiny slivers and chop all the veggies, set them aside.

Add garlic, pepper and carrot to bacon pieces and cook for about 5 minutes, set them aside.

When water is boiling, add lemon-pepper seasoning, dried herbs, salt and pepper, taste to see if you want to season more. Then add diced potato and shredded cabbage, cook until both are almost done.

Add bacon and veggie mix into the soup and cook for another few minutes.

Add chopped tomatoes and tomato paste, then sugar and lemon juice to taste.

Cook for another couple of minutes until all veggies are tender but not over-cooked.

Garnish with fresh herbs. One time it is totally OK to immerse yourself into sour notes. :)

Enjoy!

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Sad little witch.

Not lucky… not rich.

Needed a drastic change.

Something really strange.

Apathy had moved in to stay.

Her mood had began to decay.

Had to do something soon.

She stared at an eerie moon.

 

This young witch

Knew it was time to switch.

No more boring potions

Or annoying lotions.

“Not a single reptile!”

She mumbled with a smile.

“I want something new.

Yellow… red… maybe blue”.

 

She added a bit of this and that.

Started to sweat… took off her hat.

She used both sadness and joy.

To her, emotions were merely a toy.

A pinch of anger and a dash of fear.

She suddenly wiped away a tear.

She paused briefly to think.

Her face turned green then pink.

 

She’d run out of surprise and disgust.

What other emotions could she trust?!

She hated sweetness, goodness and love.

Preferred a scorpion or a crow to a dove.

She measured out two cups of contempt.

She was now filthy, sweaty and unkempt.

Then she added a fresh batch of pure awe.

It was still fresh and 100% raw.

 

She threw out optimism but added remorse.

The latter was so much better… of course.

She slowly stirred these emotions all night.

her haggard appearance was a hideous sight.

She mixed these emotions with great care.

Some of the substance got stuck in her hair.

She was worried that something would go wrong.

And implosion… an explosion… it didn’t take long.

                                        S. C. Kleinhans

 

 

What’s Cooking This Week

 

I’m unsure what to cook this week, but any, or both, of these should bring the witch back to her senses :)

Some Days Are Better Left Undone

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This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. … Welcome and entertain all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whomever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.      ”Rumi”
      Some days are just like that, all you want to do is curl under the blanket and cry, then I suggest you do just that. I have a firm belief that we are allowed to indulge in exactly what it is we are feeling. Feelings and emotions are always true because they are purely subjective and often have nothing to do with real life (and what is real anyway?!). You can try doing your best reality testing technique, but it will just be futile as feelings are not facts, there is no 2 x 2 table on how it is you’re supposed to feel in particular situations. Therefore, if somebody says “you can’t possibly feel this way”, laugh in their faces, because surely you can!
     I sometimes have days/periods when I allow myself to feel completely broken and unraveled, but I always have an agreement (with myself) that after 3-4-10 (insert your time frame here) days you will also start getting yourself out of the hole. I think this allows to feel that you’re not a superhero who can always hold it together, acknowledging and respecting your vulnerability is the biggest strength because it allows you to stay true to yourself.
What’s Cooking This Week
Ragu and Veggie Pasta
On a day when you feel cranky, you need something quick yet satisfying. Ragu pasta is my comfort food and a menu staple that I make at least 2-3 times a month. You can cook a big batch of ragu sauce and freeze in small containers for future quick meals, you can then add whatever veggies you have in the fridge, this is what I made today.
1 15 oz can or container of tomatoes ( I like Pomi or Pastene)
8 oz of gluten free or regular wheat pasta ( I used De Boles rice, quinoa and amaranth spaghetti)
1/2 lbs of ground dark meat turkey ( or any other ground meat)
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
15 mini bell peppers, thinly sliced
1/2 lbs frozen  or fresh peas
fresh herbs ( I used curly parceley)
dried herbs and spices ( I used lemon/pepper blend, salt, black pepper, oregano, basil and celery seeds)
In a large frying pan heat up a tsp of olive oil and add ground turkey, as the meat cooks, constantly break up and stir all the little lumps ( you can also use potato masher). When turkey almost done, add tomatos, stir it all together, cover and lower the heat. Let it simmer for at least 10 min, then add half the dried herbs and spices you were going to use. If the sauce is a bit tarte, add a tsp of raw or brown sugar, let it simmer for another min. This is your base that you can now use or freeze for future meals.
Boil GF or regular pasta according to directions (remember that GF pasta always needs to be rinsed), drain and set aside.
In another frying pen, heat up 1-2 tsps of olive oil and add onions, let it cook until golden brown, then add sliced peppers and cook half way through, add peas and the rest of the herbs and spices, stir fry until all is done.
Combine pasta, veggies and ragu sauce in a large pan and heat it all up stirring frequently. Garnish with fresh herbs. Enjoy!